SELF-WORK VS HEALING
UNDERSTANDING
SELF-WORK
I use the terms self-work and healing interchangeably though they carry different underlying meanings, as they both serve the same purpose of rebuilding a healthy relationship with ourselves. Through my years of working with individuals, I've realized that there is often resistance when discussing therapy or seeking support. Many believe that seeking help indicates an inability to be "normal." However, our perception of "normal" is largely shaped by our childhood experiences and conditioning, making it a subjective standard. Personally, I find the term self-work more palatable and inviting. It emphasizes the fundamentals of personal development, transition, and transformation that all humans must go through. We work not only with our minds but also with our bodies, which hold our memories. Self-work transcends beyond thinking and living healthily, leading to holistic wellness and a journey of personal revelations and wisdom. Ultimately, ***self-work helps us develop self-awareness and healthy coping mechanisms to handle life's toughest moments, building a strong foundation for our healing process.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT
HEALING
Healing may sound like a big word, but all it actually does is bring you back to your neutral mode – the authentic side of you.
All of us including me have our own experiences of setbacks and challenges that shaped who we are today. But despite building emotional resilience, our bodies may not be processing experiences in the same way as our minds. We may start to notice repetitive patterns of discomfort and/or pain that has no medical explanation.
As children, we often push unpleasant memories away to protect ourselves. This is a survival technique. As we grow older, we assume that these memories have vanished, and we continue to live with this coping mechanism as our default. But it's important to recognize that these past experiences may still be impacting us in subtle ways, and it's crucial to address them to truly heal and live authentically.
Know that, we are all work in progress.
Now, the big question is, do you really believe that these memories have completely vanished, or if not, where do they go?
As we mature into adults, avoiding our problems doesn't make us any wiser. We become more adept at handling issues in ways that we know best and bury our negative memories even deeper. We've adopted the "out of sight, out of mind" approach, which affects our well-being by influencing our behavior and perspectives. The truth is, as adults, we face greater resistance and more responsibilities than children, making it even harder for us to return to our neutral mode.
So what is the Neutral Mode?
The neutral mode refers to a state of being where one is in touch with their true and authentic self, free from the influences of past negative experiences or traumas. It is a state of equilibrium where one is neither overwhelmed by negative emotions nor disconnected from their emotions. And only through the process of healing, can we recover and restore ourselves back to our neutral mode.
Coping and Healing are two separate mechanism
“I have done all I can with meditation and yoga, it felt good for a moment. After a while, the same feeling of being stuck and the heaviness in my chest comes back.”
Sometimes, we may find that our go-to techniques like meditation and yoga can only provide temporary relief. We may feel good for a moment, but after a while, the same feelings of being stuck and heaviness within our body come back. It's like putting a tissue on a bleeding cut to stop the bleeding, which is a coping mechanism.
But healing only takes place after the bleeding stops. We need to check how deep the cut is and seek appropriate medical attention. Disinfecting the wound is a crucial step, even though it may hurt the most, to remove any impurities. Regularly applying ointment and changing the bandages is necessary to create a clean and conducive surface for genuine healing to take place.
It's essential to recognize that real healing starts way back when the wound first appeared. Coping mechanisms may provide temporary relief, but true healing requires going deeper to understand the root cause of the imbalance and addressing it.
FREE EXERCISE
FREE EXERCISE
Feeling a prompting to explore your own story and emotions? Or feeling stuck and unsure how to move forward with this ambiguity?
The 3As to building a better self are Acceptance, Acknowledgment, and Activating self-compassion. To kick start your self-work and/or healing journey, you can follow a simple exercise that prompts you to bring out emotional and sensorial content. The purpose of the exercise is to motivate you to take the first step towards calibrating your steps to healing and/or personal development with your preferred therapist/life coach.
READY FOR THE EXERCISE?